- Read your body's early stress signals and pause before you react
- Feel strong emotions without exploding, over-explaining or shutting down
- Repair after conflict, and listen with curiosity instead of fixing
- Live by values you chose, not rules about manhood you inherited
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The Grounded Self
A group for all men. Finding meaning and connection in a complex world.
- FormatIn person at our Arlington, MA office
- Length8 weekly sessions · 90 minutes
- GroupSmall group · 8–10 men
- Investment$350 for 8 sessions, per person
The Grounded Self is an 8-session, clinician-led in-person therapy group for all men at Al-Kindi Counseling Services in Arlington, MA. Designed for men in their 30s to early 60s, it helps members read their body's stress signals, handle strong emotions without reacting, repair after conflict, listen with curiosity and live by values they chose, using the HIKMA© method's four domains: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Cisgender, transgender and intersex men of every sexual orientation are welcome, as are nonbinary and gender-expansive people who feel at home in a men's group.
Why a group for men?
Many men learn early that their worth comes from what they provide, fix and produce, and that hard feelings are something to handle alone. Over time that can show up as stress in the body, quiet resentment, distance from the people they love, or a sense that life is happening somewhere else.
Those messages land differently depending on who you are. Gay, bisexual, queer and trans men often carry extra pressure to prove they're “man enough,” to stay guarded, or to keep parts of themselves out of view. Here, there is no single right way to be a man, and every member's identity, sexuality and family is welcome in the room.
This group is a place to set down the armor, meet other men facing similar questions, and practice a different way of being in relationships: at home, at work and with yourself. You don't need to have the words for it yet.
Who the group is for
This group is for men, and we define that broadly. Anyone who identifies as a man is welcome: cisgender, transgender and intersex men, and men of every sexual orientation, whether gay, bisexual, queer, straight or still figuring it out. Nonbinary, Two-Spirit and gender-expansive people who feel at home in a men's group are welcome too. You never need to explain or prove your identity to belong here.
Members are usually in their 30s to early 60s, at different points in life. Groups can mix ages, and each stage brings its own pressures:
- In your 30s: work and family pressure, identity transitions, and deciding where your energy goes.
- In your 40s: built-up resentment, a midlife look at your life, and the strain of parenting.
- In your 50s and early 60s: an emptying nest, career transitions, and a new relationship with vulnerability.
How this group helps
In the HIKMA© method, wellbeing lives in four connected domains — Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual (PEMS). Many men learn to tune one or more of them out. Over eight sessions, members build practical skills in all four:
Physical
Noticing the early physical signs of stress, and taking a real time-out before the moment takes over.
Emotional
Feeling anger, shame, fear or grief without acting on it, and finding the courage to start a repair after conflict.
Mental
Loosening the belief that you're only worth what you produce, and trading the urge to fix for listening, curiosity and clear boundaries.
Spiritual
Living by values you chose and defining manhood on your own terms, rather than by inherited rules about what a man should be.
Curious where this comes from? Read the story of Al-Kindi and our HIKMA© method.
The 8-session journey
Each 90-minute session combines a short, practical teaching with exercises and honest conversation. The group builds one skill at a time, then brings them together.
- Session 1 · Physical
Dropping Anchor in the Storm
You can't reason your way out of a stress response with willpower alone. Learn to read your body's early alarm signals and take a real time-out before the moment takes over.
- Session 2 · Mental
Decoupling Output from Identity
When your whole identity rests on what you produce, every setback feels like a threat. Build the flexibility to step back from performance and show up with presence instead of panic.
- Session 3 · Emotional
The Defensive Shield & Emotional Waves
Notice the shields you reach for, like going silent, counter-attacking, over-explaining or appeasing, and grow the capacity to hold anger, anxiety or grief without letting it drive.
- Session 4 · Mental & Relational
Relational Intelligence & Active Curiosity
When someone you love shares a problem, they rarely want a lecture or a blueprint. Practice offering presence and curiosity instead of fixing and instructing.
- Session 5 · Emotional & Relational
Rupture & Repair
Strong relationships aren't free of conflict; they repair quickly and cleanly. Learn to own your part and start a repair conversation, which takes more courage than winning an argument.
- Session 6 · Spiritual
Internal Rules vs. Self-Chosen Values
Much of the fatigue men carry comes from rules they never chose. Separate inherited ideas of what a man should be from the values you actually hold, and choose what guides the next chapter of your life.
- Session 7 · Physical & Emotional
Navigating Conflict with Strategic Agency
Bring body awareness and clear boundaries into real conflict. A boundary isn't a demand that others change; it's a clear statement of what you will do to protect the connection.
- Session 8 · All four domains
The Creation Blueprint
Bring every tool together into a personal, everyday practice. Growth is an ongoing practice, not a destination, and the work continues out there.
Is this group right for me?
A good fit if…
- Conflict keeps showing up in your relationships
- Strong emotions are hard to manage or regulate
- You're questioning the models of manhood you were handed
- You want a men's space where you can bring your whole self: your identity, your sexuality and the people you love
- Setting boundaries, listening well or connecting with the important people in your life feels hard
- You want a life more connected to your values
- You know you're more than your job and want to be more present in your personal life
Maybe not right now if…
- You're in an acute crisis and need immediate or individual support
- You need a court-ordered or certified program, such as anger management or a relationship-violence intervention program
- You're hoping to work on your relationship together with your partner (couples therapy may be a better first step)
- You can't commit to attending all eight sessions in person
“A strong relationship isn't one without conflict. It's one with fast, clean repair.”— The Grounded Self
Frequently asked questions
Who is this group for?
Men in their 30s through their early 60s, and we mean men broadly: cisgender, transgender and intersex men of every sexual orientation, plus nonbinary and gender-expansive people who feel at home in a men's group. In your 30s that might mean work and family pressure, identity changes and deciding where your energy goes. In your 40s, built-up resentment, a midlife look at your life and the strain of parenting. In your 50s and early 60s, an emptying nest, career transitions and a new relationship with vulnerability. What members share is the wish to live and relate differently.
Do I need to be in a relationship to join?
No. The skills apply to every relationship that matters to you: a partner or spouse of any gender, children, parents, chosen family, friends, colleagues and the relationship you have with yourself.
Is this group LGBTQ+ affirming?
Yes. Gay, bisexual, queer, questioning, transgender and intersex men are fully welcome, as are straight and cisgender men. You will never be asked to explain or prove your identity, and you decide what you share. From the first meeting, the group agrees to respect every member's identity, pronouns, relationships and family.
Is this anger management?
No. It's a clinician-led therapy group, not a court-ordered or certified anger management or intervention program. If you need one of those, our team is happy to help you find the right referral.
Do I have to share personal things?
You decide how much to share and when. Many men start by listening. Each session mixes a short teaching, practical exercises and conversation, and the group agrees on confidentiality from the first meeting.
Who leads the group?
The group is led by Natasha Kewene-Hite, a counselor on the Al-Kindi team whose work is trauma-informed, narrative and somatic (body-based), with the support of our clinical team.
Why does the group meet in person? Is there a virtual option?
The group meets in person at our Arlington office because showing up and sitting in the same room with other men is part of the work. Once a group is established, a virtual option may be offered to continuing members.
How much does it cost and how do I join?
The group is $350 for 8 sessions per person, paid upfront to hold your place on the waiting list. Sessions are 90 minutes and groups are small, 8 to 10 men. Use “Request to Join” and our team will contact you about the next start date.
Groups are intentionally small. Request a spot and our team will follow up about the next start date, fit and next steps. Individual therapy with us is in-network with BCBS, Aetna, Cigna, MassGeneral Brigham Health Plan, Optum and UnitedHealthcare.
or call (978) 996-8033
In crisis? This group is not an emergency service. If you or someone you love is in danger, call 911. For immediate emotional support, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).
Other groups at Al-Kindi
Last updated October 2026 · Al-Kindi Counseling Services, Inc., 7 Central Street, Suite 160, Arlington, MA 02476.